I've been living for 18 years and I think I have been suffering from the same disease that has been occurring me since birth maybe? I call this the 'KKS' syndrome.
KKS syndrome is actually a shorter form for "Kurang kasih sayang", which means one who has not been receiving enough love. It doesn't care from whoever it is. It can be from your family, friends or even your crush. The only cure is to hug someone you trust for 10 seconds. It can make you feel like home but it is only temporary.
Since you all know that I am a loser of level ten, I had to struggle to fight it. I don't really have friends back in the days. I remember I was bullied mentally in my dorm when I was 14 years old. I hated everyone. I tried badly to be known by people in my school so people will show some respect to me. I achieved that when I was 16 years old.
Living for my SPM life was hard. The only place for me to hang on was my friends. I was really glad that I have such a supporting friends. Some of them might be the one who pushed me down the cliff but some was just there to pull me up to safety. I couldn't done it without you guys. Thank you so much.
Since I was young, my parents thought that I wasn't a sociable kind of person and they might think that of me until now which is kinda harsh for me. Like how am I going to survive to find new friends in a new environment. I have a lot of friends, okay. It's just that I'm not that kind of clingy person when it come to socializing on the internet. I prefer to interact with my friends directly. Which that never happened to me after I finished my SPM.
I was promised by my dad that I can go out with my friends as soon as I finish my SPM.. but until now I haven't gotten to go out anywhere even to my friend's house. All of my hangout date is always full with something that I have to do like I have to follow dad to work or I got to go see my siblings or I have to go visit some relatives. The only time I can go out is with my sisters. That's still doesn't count because they are not my friends.
Someday I hope God will let me go out with my friends even just for some Subway at Giant.